After You Pull Your Online Profile
How to Tell Others, Removing Your Ad, and Moving On
Steps to take after you and your online love decide to get serious.
If you Internet date long enough, eventually you will meet someone special and want to kick your relationship up a notch by dating exclusively. Once you’ve discussed what this means to you both, there are some natural steps that should come next.
Get on the Same Page As Your Partner
Make sure you both understand what pulling your profile will mean and for how long you’ll both keep your online ad down. You may even want to agree to talk again in a few months to see if you both want to remain exclusive. In dating it’s just as important realize when you’re not with the right one as it is to take a chance on a new relationship.
Remove or Place Your Profile on Hold
Once you’ve gotten serious in the “real world” you politely tell people “no thanks” when they ask you out. In the online dating world you take yourself out of active circulation. “Pulling your profile” can mean one of two things: taking your online ad down entirely or taking it off the market temporarily. Choosing either one of these is fine, but you do need to make sure your profile is not actively up, able to be browsed, or accessible via email. In other words, once you’ve made the decision to see where your current relationship is going, make sure you are not giving out the signal that you’re still available to folks in the online world.
Tell Others You’ve Pulled Your Profile
It takes a bit of time to get to know someone online. Daters generally exchange quite a few of emails before they actually decide to meet. Even then, you may meet briefly during a coffee date or two before you go on an actual date. Doing this is part of acceptable online dating protocol, but when you do finally decide you’re going to date one person solely, you must tell others. Send a polite email to the people you’ve corresponded with or met casually so they can move on to other relationships as well.
Communicate and Re-evaluate
Let’s be clear, you don’t want to hound your partner about the future. The best-case scenario is to let things take their course naturally. If you’re right for each other, you’ll know it and things probably will move very quickly! But if things aren’t quite right, you owe it to yourself to discuss this with your partner. If necessary, take a step back from your relationship by spending a certain amount of time apart or even dating other people again for a while. Continue to discuss your relationship honestly so you don’t end up settling for someone who isn’t quite right for you.
Move On to the Next Step… or Decide to Date Again
The great thing about online dating is it can introduce you to people you never would have met otherwise. So you might meet someone who is insanely perfect for you and a real soul mate. Conversely, if you and your partner decide to put yourselves back on the market, you have a very good chance of meeting the right person for you. So even if things don’t work out right away with one person, you never know who is just waiting for you to put your profile back up so they can contact you!
Find out more: Online Dating 101
