If you are single after 50, the well known saying you are more likely to be killed by a terrorist than get married after 40 feels very real. Dating has taken on a whole new meaning in these modern times. Instead of getting dolled up and trekking to a bar, you can have your pick of over one hundred men in the comfort of your own home and wearing pajama pants, just by signing up for a few online dating websites. This is the new dating reality, especially for those over 50.
Online Dating Success Story
Jane and Marv Goodman, an online dating success story, are living proof that love exists at any age. In their early sixties, the Goodmans were meant to meet online, and subsequently marry only a few months later.
Having only previously been with one man, Jane found the dating scene especially hard. In a Nov. 4, 2008 telephone interview with Jane and Marv Goodman, Jane explains “I had to learn at 60 years old, in today’s world, what it was to date someone. It was hard knowing how to be with another man and how to take rejection.” Marv, who fought the dating battle longer, couldn’t help but question himself when his advances weren’t reciprocated. “It’s easier to handle rejection when you’re younger because you recuperate faster,” he explains.
The happy couple agrees that it is very hard putting yourself "out there" when you’re over 50, but according to Marv, you have to “keep throwing your bait out, be very open and take a lot of rejection.” Most importantly, don’t be too hasty judging someone by his or her photo. If Marv were guilty of that, he wouldn’t be happily married now. “I hated her picture on JDate,” he confesses.
Luck is not their secret to success. They knew what was important to them before putting themselves out there, including a partner who shared similar values.
Online Dating Expert Advice
In an Oct. 28, 2008 phone interview, spokesperson for JDate Gail Laguna, says the first thing to do when looking for love the second time around is to evaluate what your deal breakers are and know what you’re looking for. “What are you looking for, a long-term serious relationship, or just a date or activity partner?” asks Laguna.
Laguna recommends that after doing some serious soul searching, expand your social circle to meet that special someone. Joining a gym, attending events, and travel excursions for singles are great ways to introduce you to new people in a stress-free environment. “Eliminate as much of the pressure for yourself as you can. Try going for a lunch or coffee date rather than out to dinner,” adds Laguna.
Remember to keep your options open! Since most fifty-plus men and women already have their families, they aren’t necessarily looking to get married and raise children. “When you have a narrow set of prerequisites, you limit yourself so much that you’re not going to be successful,” explains Laguna. “When marriage isn’t the ultimate goal, where for the younger group it is, you can have a bit more freedom to loosen up some of your criteria.”
Online Dating Problems
In order to make sure you meet someone with the right intentions, remove those rose-colored lenses. When dating online, be sure to watch out for members who don’t have profile pictures. “If they don’t have a photo up its generally because there’s something they’re trying to hide,” Laguna warns.
The most common problem for singles is that many are reluctant to go out with someone they’re not sure about. “This is why people date. To find out if you like one another,” Laguna explains. “It’s funny because it’s actually a sign of the times.” A common misconception is that you have to jump into bed with your date right away and not see anyone else. But don’t forget that the point of dating is to determine whom you want to be with. “People really need to keep in mind that it’s just a date,” laughs Laguna.
Adults over 50 live busy lifestyles, juggling multiple responsibilities. Online dating is a convenient way to get back out there, meet new people and expand your horizons. But just remember to keep an open mind!
