Effective Online Dating
Improve Your Chances of Meeting People Online With a Quality Profile
Sep 17, 2008
It has to be recognized that online dating is about imagery and visual communication. More meaningful connection develops later, if at all. Prospects have to jump the first hurdle - how you look. Website browsers are essentially shopping; scrolling through photos to stop at one that attracts their attention.
It's like an online drive-in. Daters pull into a restaurant and consult the menu. Good pictures win the day.
Post Quality Photos
Post several good quality photos of your face, laughing or smiling. Only then enhance your online gallery with "action" shots doing activities or with other people. Select the clearest and best image of yourself as your main ID photograph. It should be bold and frame 90% of the box. Your online face is the window into who you are. Good black and white photos stand out with so many color ones online.
A Profile Must Have a Photo
Not posting an ID image radically diminishes your coverage. Profiles with photographs get 15x more views than profiles without visuals (personals.com). Those who say, "well, they should appreciate the real me, regardless" are fooling themselves. Human beings -- and this is especially true online -- are attracted first by how people look. First impressions are instinctive. Visualization is the runway and online daters must land their plane.
Avoid "Busy" Photos
Avoid the following types: there are the "car people" who pose in front of beautiful open top sports cars or draped over a motor bike; or the "pet people" who show themselves with a favorite cat or dog (or two) squashed up against their face; or the "brood mares" who choose to photograph themselves surrounded by a gazillion babies and children; or the "ego gym junkie" flashing his abs.
Such photo choices reveal how those profilers identify themselves (petrol head, cat worshiper, mother, stud) and send mixed messages. "Am I supposed to date the cat?" "Is their car more important than me?" "Are they materialistic?" "Are they advertising for a father for all those children?" "Is he a narcissist, vain and in love with himself?"
A simple smiling image of your face should be your online drive-in sign. It's about you! It's nice to show you love children or like cars, but this should be done elsewhere, not in the ID photo.
Be Witty and Fun
A bio outline should be quirky and unconventional. "Likes romantic walks on beach and candle lit suppers" (who doesn't?) is formulaic and clichéd. The first few lines of your bio should be different than other profiles and express something unique about yourself.
Some fun examples:
"If you love the great outdoors and mountain biking I'd love to chat...not that I want to pick out curtains or anything...(yet)."
"I love animals...next to mashed potatoes."
People are attracted to your uniqueness and difference among thousands of other options. If you make them laugh first up, you're winning.
Be Focused
Cyber Sex and Online Dating is about attracting people you would like to be with. Avoid obvious mismatches by promoting online profile criteria that are important to you (smoking? political or religious beliefs, vegan-ism, height, distance from you). This focuses the search pool. Be specific about who will work for you and what will not.
How to Connect Well
Meeting people on the internet is about posting quality photos that identify you simply and clearly and avoiding extraneous extras that can confuse. Alongside the photo appear more details in a funny, witty outline. Mismatches are avoided by posting focused criteria upfront to narrow your search.
