How to Email Your Online Match
Winking, Icebreakers, and the Right Words to Use
You can write post the best essay and photos around, but if your emails don't wow potential matches, you may never get to meet that special someone.
What’s the best way to make email work for you? Follow these pointers and you’ll be sipping a latte with your new partner in no time:
To Wink or Not To Wink?
Many online sites have the ability to “wink,” send the equivalent of a thumbs up, or even give your match an “icebreaker.” All these methods are meant to make the process of getting to know a potential match easier, however, nothing takes the place of personalized contact. After all, one of the great things about online dating is it takes the guesswork out of figuring out if someone is single and looking for a match. So don’t complicate it more by sending someone a wink when you can let them know with complete certainly that you’re interested in them through an email.
Be Witty, Serious, Goofy, or Charming?
Some online daters send winks simply because they don’t know what to say to start off their email conversation. But remember the rule about online dating, you’ve got to be yourself in order to stand out. So your emails don’t have to be super witty or outrageously intelligent. They just have to let your potential date know you’re interested in them. So don’t get hung up on trying to “sound” fabulous, instead compose a simple email telling your potential match you liked their profile and want to know more about them.
Personalize or Cut and Paste?
Should you search for specific things to comment on in your match’s profile? Or just compose a basic email you can cut and paste? The best bet is to do a little of both. Compose a simple paragraph that you’ll always have ready, such as:
- “Hi. I saw your profile and it seems as if we might have some things in common. Take a look at my profile, and if you’re interested in talking further, let me know.”
It doesn’t have to be any fancier than that. However, if you notice specific things that stand out in your match’s profile, feel free to add them into your opening email. Something like:
- “Hi. I saw your profile and it seems as if we both like the Packers and think hunting rummage sales are a perfect way to spend a Saturday. You’ve obviously got great taste! Take a look at my profile, and if you’re interested in talking further, let me know.”
Just Say Hello, or Go On and On and On?
Some folks believe that the initial email shouldn’t just say hi, but also give a few details about their life and interests. So they break the rules of online dating etiquette by writing lengthy emails that describe their likes and dislikes… and then wonder why no one responds to them. Here’s the thing, sending an email that’s longer than a paragraph will only waste time: both yours and your match’s.
Why Not Just Copy the Blurb From Your Profile Essay?
The purpose of your initial email should be to get someone to take a look at your profile. And that’s it. Your email should say hello and provide a link to your profile. It’s your profile –essay, photos, and headline – that will show your true personality, and therefore attract someone just right for you. So keep your email short and sweet, and let your profile do the rest.
