Protect yourself against Internet dating scams by knowing these common signs.
Internet dating has gained in popularity over the last several years, but for every success there seems to be an equal number of stories where a well-meaning single person was taken advantage of, or worse.
Many of the common online dating scams involve money and trust, while others are physically dangerous. Regardless of the motive, there are some common aspects that many Internet dating scams seem to share. Here are a few signs to look for.
Emails From Another Country
While it’s possible that the love of your life may not live near you, the reality is most people who are serious about dating live a reasonable distance away from the folks they search for. Think about it, if someone wants to date you, he or she will have to spend time with you, and they can’t do that if they aren’t even in your zip code.
Protect yourself: If you receive an email from someone hundreds of miles away or even outside the boundaries of your country, simply ignore the message. Don’t respond in any way. Doing so only encourages further contact.
Claims of Love
If you receive a message from someone that talks about how much they love and adore you early on, take note. Daters who are well balanced and looking for a meaningful relationship do not do this type of thing.
The reason is simple: Until the two of you meet and spend time together you won’t really know how you feel about the other person. You can’t. Any feelings you have are based on a fantasy and not the reality.
And while it’s possible to enjoy the way a person writes and the online banter you both might share, an email declaring love should be met with caution. If someone doesn’t know you yet, then he or she can’t very well be in love with you, either.
Protect yourself: If you receive a message of love before a face-to-face meeting, tell your online match he or she is moving too fast and you need time to get to know them. Oftentimes asking for additional space will send a con artist running.
Asking for Money
Con men know how to tell a good sob story. Before you even have a real relationship, you’ll hear about their sick children, their mother, and their health problems. While everyone has baggage, con artists play upon your sympathies.
In addition, con men will try and get personal information that an honest dater would ever want to know, such as bank and credit card numbers. When your online match starts asking questions that have nothing to do with normal dating talk, move on from him or her and don’t look back.
Protect yourself: If an online match has the audacity to ask for money or financial information, delete his emails and block his profile.
Pushing the Boundaries Too Far and Too Fast
Con artists want to get in and out of a scam quickly before they move on to the next victim. One trick is to bypass the double blind email system that any reputable site has in place. While many daters exchange emails after a time, it is never advisable to do this in the very beginning.
Another common trick by con men is to give you their phone number in place of having to email you at all. People that are impatient about the safety features put in place for online dating are a red flag. Get to know the person first before giving out your last name, address, or real email address.
Protect yourself: Listen to your gut instinct, and know that any person you haven’t met several times is a stranger. Never allow feelings of flattery, loneliness, or sympathy make you do something you simply don’t feel right about. If your date is someone worthwhile, he or she will be willing to get to know you over time and allow you in their world as well.
The copyright of the article Internet Dating Scams in Online Dating is owned by Cherie Burbach. Permission to republish Internet Dating Scams in print or online must be granted by the author in writing.
After being divorced for 12 years my son finally talked me into getting a
profile. Well, I am 49 years old and my profile is simply nothing
special..But in a matter of several days, over 10 men all in Africa mind
you. Nigeria to be exact had contacted me. I deleted most of them until a
French man made contact. For the first few days, he was polite and nice
unitl he was suddenly kidnapped and needed $50 grand to get him home from
Africa to the New York. First I am not looking for a man thousands of
miles away. But, I thought ok..I know where this is going. I searched his
profile which listed New York. No listings at all. So, I searched in Paris,
France and lo and behold he had as many addresses as he was all of 39. I
let him tell his sob story which was quite detailed. Down to the two teeth
being pulled by pliers. He asked for me to use Money Gram. Never gave me a
cell number or asked for mine. I blocked his profile immediately. Several
days later he came back under a new name. And when I realized it was him,
I blocked that profile also. The sad moral of this story is that some
woman will see that gorgeous picture and fall for it..Broken teeth and
all..Enough for me...I now know why online is not for me. A True
Southern Belle
Jun 30, 2009 11:47 AM
Guest :
I just recently went through this same thing. I signed up on a dating
website and saw a few profiles. This one came up with a handsome man and he
wrote me a nice email about my profile pictures and what I wrote in my
profile. I thought it was strange when I asked him a bunch of questions so
I can get to know him and he never answered one. I told him that if his
feelings were genuine we would get to know each other by asking questions.
This person didn't seem to get the point. The straw that broke the
camels back was when he wrote that we are both in love and you said that
you love me. This was so untrue because I was not falling in love with
someone I have never met. He didn't ask me for money but I knew something
was up when he gave a Nigerian phone number to call.
Jul 7, 2009 1:23 PM
Guest :
I met this wonderful person online and for about a month or so, he told me
that he loved me, i told him that he didnt even know me, well anyway i
spoke with him over the phone for about 6 months exchanged pictures, mostly
of his family. he broke our so called telephone, email messaging off after
6 months (my insecureness of him, not being able to trust) we both had
recently divorced and shared simular stories. after 6 months i initiated
the contact because i really missed him, when we first contacted each other
we would talk for hours and hours each night and he told me his whole life
story, and he really never asked about me, although i would mention a bit.
anyway when i recently contacted him he told me he had found another, so i
didnt bother, then about a 2 weeks after i contacted him he text me and
wanted me to call, and gullable me i called and we made up and now he wants
me to go out and visit him, he cannot leave the state due to personal
reasons which i am aware of, its a 20 hour drive for me. what do you
think?
Jul 12, 2009 11:10 AM
Guest :
Was on match.com & winked at a gorgeous 49 yr old male. He responded
back by telling me what a beautiful woman I was. Stated he was orig. from
Paris, France. For about 1 mo. talking online,telling me how much he loved
me even though we have never met. Said parents & family passed away,
left w 7 yr old son. Sent flowers to my work. Glad I didn't give him home
address. Would never give up his address. Phone calls were always
distorted. Sprint operator broke in at one point to inform me that the call
was coming from Africa, they suspect it was a con & suggested I hang
up. Didn't want to believe he was not real. He said he was from Palmetto,
FL & an engineer & has to go to Accra, Guana, for business. He got
there & lost his luggage, wanted me to send him a laptop. Then I really
knew he was a con. He brought up, if you love me so much you'd help me out.
He was quick to give me a PO box to send it to. I can't believe how
dumb/sad I feel.
Jul 13, 2009 12:11 PM
Guest :
Please if anyone is reading this.I was on a dating site for christians.This
guy wrote me and told me how he liked my profile.We emailed each other
about a week and then I started reading his letters good.It opened my eyes
when I seen the way he would write at the beginning like he didn't know how
to put the words together.But when he would spill from his heart[what they
say].All the words were like he was copying them.Guess what? He was.I got
online and typed love letters and the letters he wrote me,he got from
online.He messed up a couple of times when he wrote how we just got off the
phone and I knew we never spoke on the phone.I kept asking him for his cell
since he said he was from California,he gave me this long # that begins
with a 1.Please read everything carefully.About a week or so into the
emails,I set a bait.I told him how God had blessed me,no lie,24 hours later
he needed some money.His mother was getting operated on and he hasn't ate
in 2 days.No I never sent him money nor would I send anyone money I didn't
know.He will even ask you for your username and password because he says I
was the one he has been waiting on and we should both delete our profiles
from that site and the reason he asked for that is to see if I really
deleted the profile.Words of Advice.Never give him info to the sites your
on and always cancel the Credit card you used on that site,no matter if you
have been scammed or not.Listen to your spirit God gave you.You shouldn't
be attracted to any man that needs your help. Don't fall for the love
letters.He will play with you for about a week or so.He even stooped so low
and used God in his letters.I told him I will pray that God would have
mercy on his soul,because anyone that can use God but yet is a liar needs
lots of prayers.Will I do online dating again? No way!
Jul 19, 2009 10:00 AM
Guest :
I wish there was a way to turn these guys in or set them up to get caught
and sent to prison...they all have the same stories, wife died not too long
ago and they are looking for a relationship and then here it comes, they
need me to set up an account at a bank to wire money or they are stuck
there and need money to get home...yeah right So anyone know how to turn
these jerks in, I am ready too.
Jul 20, 2009 1:21 PM
Guest :
I also joing a dating sight. And was contacted by a very handsome blond man
wich was french descent. We talked for a couple of weeks when he said he
was taking a trip to Africa for business. Once there he said he was in
Nigeria and gave me number there. He then said his son was having chest
pains and he took him to a doctor and said he had heart disease and needed
a bypass surgery but they would not perform it until he had the money
upfront. He was not able to access his bank account back in Alabama and
asked if I could send him some money.
Aug 11, 2009 3:23 PM
Guest :
my story is typical: He approches me from a dating site, we switch
over private emails, he tells that he is so in love with me, and can't wait
to see me. He tells me he lives in Florida, but his name does not come up
in the Intellius pages, then he goes to London for business, and from there
he asks me to do him a favor. He is so busy with work, and he has to send
his friend in Nigeria $600.00, and he asks me to do it for him, and when I
refused, he started saying that I should be helping me, that I am all is
have that can help him. Anyway I was in doubt weather it was a scam or not,
but after reading this web site I am sure he is a con artist and just took
me for a ride....luckily I did not sent him the money....I am just
crashed!!!
Aug 14, 2009 10:17 PM
Guest :
Well after reading these stories....I feel sick. Someone I have been in touch with has similar story, Crazy!!! I sure wish I would have read these before....because I'm new to what goes on. I didn't intend to join a Site....anyways kinda late for me. I sent lots of money
and was getting confused. now I just added it up. OMG......I was in
a car accident 4 years ago and since then I have had some confusion
and find it hard to function at times. He had many stories....all bad
ones of course. Things got stolen, then his son got sick and he needs money
to pay hospital bill etc etc a.
Aug 15, 2009 9:28 PM
Guest :
Ive been talking to a very handsome man, white hair, very tall. from
france/and austrailia.hes saying he loves me,his wife died, and talking
marriage.. even though weve never met.. now he said send money to his
friend in africa... just 85 $and seemed upset when I said Id never do
that...says hes a diamond dealer.retired highway desighner... wonder how
many others hes scamming?Ive given him my address, now I wonder if he can
use that to harm me in some way, boy how stupid of me!!
Aug 25, 2009 10:05 AM
Guest :
Im so glad i saw this website/had a read of all these comments, im
currently/recently subscribed to match.com, about one week ago,I sent this
guy whos profile seemed so genuine a message and he then responded a few
days later, we swapped email addresses/talked on msn messenger maybe 4/5
times hes telling me how hes a window/has a 9yr old son living in florida
with the grandmother and he has his own business/is a buildings engineer or
something like that currently residing in harrow middlesex yet is working
away trying to get a contract abroad, in benin, africa, insisted/kept on
about exchanging mobile numbers so i reluctantly gave it, and hes been
texting, when i got home from work tonight i had an email from him telling
me how he thinks hes in love with me/im special and has already deleted his
account from match.com/says hes only got eyes for me, i just didnt know
what to say so havent replied/said anything back yet, Ill try telling him
it is a fantasy declaring ur undying love for someone youve not met b4 and
see what happens, jeese all i wanted to do was find a nice guy to settle
down with :-(
Aug 31, 2009 7:31 PM
Guest :
My profile was on Lavalife for one month and in that month I was contacted
by a guy who said he was from the UK and visiting a friend in Toronto and
he told him about the website. He suggested we meet and I told him I lived
too far from Toronto to just "meet" casually. He said no problem
he'd he back in Canada soon and get in touch. 2 years passed and he
emailed me. What ensued was the full blown love at first site cant wait to
meet in person, I'm his soul mate etc. etc. 4 days before he was to fly
out a business transaction went wrong and his partner backed out. So he was
left having to come up with the backing ofr the deal, which left him broke
and Oh could I buy is ticket or help him out! My heart was broken, as soon
as I heard this. His picture was of a tall dark haired very good looking
guy in a yellow wind breaker. He was supposed to be from Wales. I checked
the poetry he sent it was all from lovingyou.com! I could never find his
business address on line and he only had a cell phone - which is common in
Europe. I did send a card to a London address he was at temporarily but I
don't really know where he was from. His final comments were that he
couldn't deal with someone that didn't trust him. He was tryign to guilt
me. Oh yes, he also said he was a practising Catholic, which I suspect was
to make me feel that I could trust him more. He told me about his 2
daughters and his mother who owned an art gallery in Oxford, which I could
never find either. I told this guy stuff I've never talked about to
anyone, he totally had me until he asked for money. Broken in Kelowna
Sep 5, 2009 9:44 AM
merimedicine :
Halleluja! I'm so glad I listened to my gut! You know I have been dabbling
off and on with internet dating for almost 10 years now and I'm telling
you, it didn't used to be like this. I don't even go on sites anymore
because they are FULL of wolves waiting to devour those they THINK are
weak. I praise God for his discernment in my life. OK ladies this is what
I have discovered is the common trick of the "new online con
artist" and you can easily bust them: 1. They sound too good to
be true 2. They have a job in consulting, some type of self
employment; you will not be able to locate the name of the company on the
internet nor a phone number.
Sep 10, 2009 11:24 AM
Guest :
I have a listing on craigslist so far the only response I've received are
for women saying they're really interested in me. For safety or health
concerns the only way I can contact them is through this social networking
site. It's only $39 a month. Do these women get a kickback from the
networking site for recruiting new members.
Nov 2, 2009 3:19 PM
Guest :
I am new the the online dating. I signed up on this site and within a
matter of days, I noticed trend with the men I met, even though my picture
was on the site, they wanted me to send them a picute directly to them
through emails. They all fall in love very quickly and they all have a
child they are raising by themselves, a sick mother, grand parent or they
are temporarily in Ghana on business. The one guy that really attracted my
attention was nice looking. I gave him my cell phone number, and we chat
everyday before I would go to work. He wanted me to get a cam so he could
see the love of his life while we are chatting. Once I started
investigating the cams, you can take pictures with this as well. So I told
him no, because I didn't like my personal space invaded that that. He
begged and pleaded me to get the cam. I am so glad I stayed strong and
didn't. He would always send me poems, so I would research these poems and
quite naturally the poems was someone else. He was copying and pasting them
to send them to me. One day he had asked could he put his business in my
name. I was so upset, I told him NO. Right then I should have
discontinued talking to him, but like a fool, I didn't. Then I started
investigating on websites about internet dating scams and it was giving me
the whole run down how these men prays on women. I thought I was safe
because this man didn't ask me for any money, but he did fall in love with
me within a day or so. He was persistant in trying to make me say I loved
him too. I kept telling him I don't know you. But I really did like him.
One day talking, he said he had to take his mother to the hospital, she is
not feeling well. Right away, the red flags went up. I didn't want to
jump to conclusions, so I wanted to see if he would ask me. The next
morning while we was chatting, he did ask me for money. I was so out done,
I told him no and I hung up. He called my cell phone 52 times that day.
He sent me emails, it was crazy. So now, I had to change my cell phone
number, change my email address and never will I go out on a dating site
again. Its not even worth it. It seems like this is the trend with them
in that country. They never have to worry about me again on any online
dating sites.
