Internet dating has gained in popularity over the last several years, but for every success there seems to be an equal number of stories where a well-meaning single person was taken advantage of, or worse.
Many of the common online dating scams involve money and trust, while others are physically dangerous. Regardless of the motive, there are some common aspects that many Internet dating scams seem to share. Here are a few signs to look for.
Emails From Another Country
While it’s possible that the love of your life may not live near you, the reality is most people who are serious about dating live a reasonable distance away from the folks they search for. Think about it, if someone wants to date you, he or she will have to spend time with you, and they can’t do that if they aren’t even in your zip code.
Protect yourself: If you receive an email from someone hundreds of miles away or even outside the boundaries of your country, simply ignore the message. Don’t respond in any way. Doing so only encourages further contact.
Claims of Love
If you receive a message from someone that talks about how much they love and adore you early on, take note. Daters who are well balanced and looking for a meaningful relationship do not do this type of thing.
The reason is simple: Until the two of you meet and spend time together you won’t really know how you feel about the other person. You can’t. Any feelings you have are based on a fantasy and not the reality.
And while it’s possible to enjoy the way a person writes and the online banter you both might share, an email declaring love should be met with caution. If someone doesn’t know you yet, then he or she can’t very well be in love with you, either.
Protect yourself: If you receive a message of love before a face-to-face meeting, tell your online match he or she is moving too fast and you need time to get to know them. Oftentimes asking for additional space will send a con artist running.
Asking for Money
Con men know how to tell a good sob story. Before you even have a real relationship, you’ll hear about their sick children, their mother, and their health problems. While everyone has baggage, con artists play upon your sympathies.
In addition, con men will try and get personal information that an honest dater would ever want to know, such as bank and credit card numbers. When your online match starts asking questions that have nothing to do with normal dating talk, move on from him or her and don’t look back.
Protect yourself: If an online match has the audacity to ask for money or financial information, delete his emails and block his profile.
Pushing the Boundaries Too Far and Too Fast
Con artists want to get in and out of a scam quickly before they move on to the next victim. One trick is to bypass the double blind email system that any reputable site has in place. While many daters exchange emails after a time, it is never advisable to do this in the very beginning.
Another common trick by con men is to give you their phone number in place of having to email you at all. People that are impatient about the safety features put in place for online dating are a red flag. Get to know the person first before giving out your last name, address, or real email address.
Protect yourself: Listen to your gut instinct, and know that any person you haven’t met several times is a stranger. Never allow feelings of flattery, loneliness, or sympathy make you do something you simply don’t feel right about. If your date is someone worthwhile, he or she will be willing to get to know you over time and allow you in their world as well.
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