Meeting people online is here to stay. People can create profiles that show their best assets, physically and emotionally and chat with people who live down the street or around the world while dressed in their pajamas at 2 a.m.
That is the good news, but the bad news is relationships, wherever they are created are not simple. Online relationships, of course, come with a few additional challenges that make them even more complex.
Use Caution When Sharing Info Online
Long before the internet some people met via the telephone, usually through ongoing contact at work. The conversations would lengthen over time and the content would become more personal. People on both ends would create a face and body to go along with a voice. For some people they eventually did meet and for many it was Disappointment City. The fantasy didn't match the reality.
Today viewing someone is easier – photos, videos, even web cams can make a first meeting less full of surprises, at least physically, but disappointment can still creep in. Some people get very invested as they increase the amount of time and energy they spend talking with someone online. They move beyond the immediate experience into imagining the future with this person and thus their investment grows.
Connecting over the internet is great and as information is shared and conversations deepen there may be the start of an emotional investment, but try to keep it in perspective. Until people have a chance to meet face-to-face and share time together it is hard to really know someone. Also don't rush the connection. Certainly because of distance constraints, sometimes when people meet they end up spending their first date over a weekend, but remember it is a first date. Take time, stay present and let the relationship unfold.
Internet Dating Red Flags
Red flags in a relationship do not always mean that it is headed for the junk pile, but it does mean there are some things to be aware of and/or to deal with before proceeding. Here are just a few red flags to be on the lookout for:
- Pressure to move in together, get married, purchase a home – in other words to move too quickly. Pressure means there is something else going on behind the scene.
- Needing help in the form of money, a place to live, an organ transplant, etc. Is this the start of a relationship or a social service agency?
- Having intense contact then dropping off the face of the earth for awhile, then resurfacing with intensity. Either a secret agent or something else that people may want to avoid.
- Wanting to meet and greet significant friends and family members or the reverse, wanting to avoid meeting and greeting family members and significant friends.
- Introducing children quickly and encouraging a parenting role. Sadly, children can sometimes be used to cement relationships.
Meeting and dating people involves risks and there are no guarantees about finding love no matter what method people choose for the search. If starting the search process online trust instincts and ask good friends and family members for their input. In matters of the heart, it sometimes takes a village.
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