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Scammers frequent internet dating sites trying to get money for nothing other than writing a few letters and saying they love someone here in North America.
Common Love Scams
Some common love scams involve the follow scenarios:
- A woman trapped in a hotel (ID seized to ensure bill payment):
- Traveller (your interest) already has tickets to travel to visit you, but there are extra expenses, and she (usually it is a she) needs help for some unexpected expenses.
- Money for a visa.
- Sick parents or accident.
Don’t fall for these!
How They Do It
It’s pretty easy for the scammers to get onto a free or cheap internet dating site and write several people, hoping that one or more of them will bite. It’s even better if the other person writes first. Sometimes she will not come out and ask for money, but wants you to offer it first. The best is if she draws out the correspondence for a little bit, claiming she is falling for the North American person after several letters. If she ever claims she loves you after only two or three letters, stop writing! That person is a scammer. Report it to the RCMP or FBI and at least one of the following sites:
internet-love-scams.org
anti-scam.org
Some Signs She’s Trying to Scam You
There are some clues about whether she is a scammer or not:
- The pictures she sends are low quality, and she claims she doesn’t have or can’t get better.
- She loves you almost instantly and calls you endearing names within the first letter or two.
- She claims she has a visa to travel to America or Canada, but needs help with the tickets.
- There is a sudden illness, death, or accident, and she needs your help.
- She asks for money before ever meeting in person.
Countering the Scammer
The best way to counter these people is just to stop writing and to report them to the scam sites, and possibly the authorities. Some things you should know about the scenarios:
- Hotel trap: if a Canadian or American ever finds herself in this situation, the government will help, call the embassy.
- She has bought a ticket: it’s extremely difficult to get a visa to visit Canada or the USA, next to impossible. And she must show who she is visiting, and demonstrate before she gets the visa that she will be able to support herself or has the support of someone here. In most (99%) of instances she must also have a letter of invitation sent directly to the visa office.
- Money for a visa: you can pay the visa office directly, either online or through wire transfer.
- Sick parents or accident: ask for proof or just ignore the request!
These last three are very common with Russian and Former Soviet Union scammers. It’s always good to get proof of the person’s identification. ID’s can be forged, but if there is any protest, then there could be an issue. Say your lawyer needs it for your visa or her visa, or whatever. Then send it to your embassy where she is from and ask to get it confirmed.
Also make sure you talk to her on the phone a few times first. Call her! There are private detectives who will check to see if she really is who she says she is. As well, you can simply get her picture and address confirmed by sending flowers – there are several agencies that take her picture when she gets the flowers. Use one.
Remember, most of the women (especially on Russian dating sites) and men out there are looking for legitimate relationships, but the scammers are around, so be careful. Good luck!
The copyright of the article Ways to Spot a Love Scam in Online Dating is owned by Johanus Haidner. Permission to republish Ways to Spot a Love Scam in print or online must be granted by the author in writing.
Comments
Oct 9, 2008 7:31 PM
Guest :
How do I know if this person is a scammer? He ask money to help about his
brother is in the hospital..The doctor need to force to operate him,because
he had enner bleeding.Needs money to send him cost $700 dollorr what should
I do...Do I believe him or just forget these person and move on mylfe...
Oct 9, 2008 8:07 PM
Johanus Haidner :
Have you ever met this person in the flesh? If not, then the chances are
he's a scammer. People who are in pursuit of legitimate love relationships
very rarely ask for money from people they have never met. It is always
best not to send money to someone you have not met in person.
Jan 24, 2009 7:30 AM
Guest :
calls hiself gordon otenio or george or and a buisnes man allways wants
money to go bury his grandmother in kisumi or uncle been run over by truck
and as no money to bury him hes been robbed hit by cars been sick so many
times needs cash to pay bills from hospital a liar and cheatlives in
mombassa
Jan 30, 2009 12:57 PM
Johanus Haidner :
This last comment sounds like a definite scam. If it were me, I'd run away
fast! If you've sent ay money, you may want to report this scam (see links
in my article).
Feb 19, 2009 3:55 AM
Guest :
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Mar 19, 2009 3:53 PM
Guest :
Met a guy online. He's says he's from the US (Michigan) We've been talking
for about a month online and on the phone the phone number have all been
international numbers. He hasn't asked for money (yet. Last night he was
robbed in his bording house in Lagos. He's suppose to come to meet me this
weekend. I've looked him up on many sites. And have'nt found him as a
scammer. A few nights ago he gave me his business account number to check
his bank account to see if a deposit had been made. There was an extremely
large amount of money in his account. The bank is a ligit. Just wondering
if I'm gonna get scammed. I will not give money to anyone i don't know.
If I actually meet him do you beleive he would still be a scammer?
Mar 19, 2009 9:04 PM
Johanus Haidner :
It's a shame that there are so many scammers out there. But it does make us
be more cautious. It's rare that a scammer is willing to meet you in person
before they ask for money - very rare. A gold digger is different, though.
Never give your money to someone you haven't met - that's a purely losing
situation, at least for you. It's possible the guy is from Michigan and is
traveling. Did he say why he's in Lagos? Does he live there? Is he there
temporarily? If he's from Michigan, then he'll have a US passport. When you
meet him, have a look at it. Be nice, don't be obtrusive. I'm sure he'll
understand. And you said his account has a lot of money in it. Perhaps you
should meet him somewhere in the USA when you finally decide to. Or at
least pick a neutral location that you both would have to travel to. He
could very well be legitimate. What does your gut tell you?
Mar 20, 2009 10:20 PM
Guest :
Interesting to read the last comment on the page, as I have been in contact
with a guy that had supposedly just moved to my country but had to go back
to England on business! He was supposed to be gone for 2 weeks but has now
been gone for over 6 weeks. Had to go to Nigeria to sign some documents for
business and be there 2 days and then come back here to my country. I have
spoken to him through msn and by phone but he too had his bags stolen and
someone tried to take money from his account which he could then not access
and sent me his details to check his account and initially wanted me to try
and transfer money from. He had the same name and similar photo (as he had
sent to me) as the account but I told him I was not comfortable to try the
transfer and he told me not to if I felt uncomfortable doing so. He has not
asked for any money and as you can not get blood from a stone never will
get money from me! But has now been involved in an accident over there
supposedly hitting a child with a car he was driving! Once again no request
for money has come and with what he had in 'his' account I would be
surprised if he did! He has offered to pay for tickets for me to go to
England (which I turned down! and would not take or go without first
meeting someone any way) BUT is this a big ploy to try to get me to do
something illegal or what?? Really confused as everytime I have thought he
was coming back here something has come up! Either he is the unluckiest
person alive at the mo or do I smell a rat?
Mar 21, 2009 8:23 AM
Johanus Haidner :
Honestly, I don't know about this one. It's the strangest thing I've ever
heard of! If it is a scam (and Nigeria is notorious for them), then it's a
new twist. Always, always be careful and never give money to a stranger. I
wonder about someone who has such a streak of "bad luck", too.
And how could you possibly transfer money from someone else's account? They
would have to do that, and I wouldn't give a stranger my banking
information (perhaps that's what he's after). If you get a money order and
it's good or tickets that are good, then that's something different. But
still be VERY careful. England is a pretty safe country, at least as safe
as America.
Mar 29, 2009 12:05 PM
Guest :
These scams are not only online :)
Hot tourist destinations are
infested with both sexes scamming and praying on tourists.
Tunisia
being a hot spot for European tourists it's a hotbed for such scams.
http://TunisianLoveRats.com
Jun 2, 2009 3:56 AM
Guest :
I have been corresponding with a man that claims he is from AZ but is doing
work in Africa for the next couple of weeks on assignment. He has not asked
for money yet but the international number he asked me to send a text
message to is linked to someone on a love scam website post that was made
last year. He shared some pics that seem very ligit but the pic on that
scam website is not even him. We met on a dating site and that site
terminated him for violating user rules & warned to proceed with
caution if talking to him outside of their network. Im wondering if the
name he gave me is even real.
In any case, how can you verify a
scammers pic? Or can you? The search I have been able to do on him has left
me little results.
Jun 2, 2009 3:51 PM
Johanus Haidner :
This is a common scam. Someone claims to be from the USA (or Britain or
Canada) and is currently in Africa. Often using a picture found on teh
internet or even scanned (of course of someone else), the scammer
represents himself (or herself, as women do this, too). They are hoping
that the people they are scamming will send gifts and/or money. People
don't get banned from dating sites without good reason. They rules on all
dating sites are straight forward and such that anyone who is honest and
serious will never need to violate them. The person you are corresponding
with is a scammer! My best advice is to report the person to whomever he is
using for email, as well as any relevant authorities or other webmasters
(such as any other site you have seen the person on).
Jun 15, 2009 2:35 AM
Guest :
After being scamed i have goten smart with these people. I now check the
e-mail headers and when i see that there using many i p adderss i cut and
past the last ip address and past it into ip finder ip finder also has
an ip trace. right now i have some1 that is trying to scam me who clames
that she is from Russia but her ip is in Sunnyvale Calif. One would think
that an ip address would come from Russia and not the stats.
Aug 5, 2009 1:31 PM
Guest :
i've sent money to a scamer,with my address what do i do now
i didn't
know she was a scamer
Aug 7, 2009 1:39 PM
Johanus Haidner :
You sent money to a scammer... You are unlikely to ever recover that money.
It's jsut too difficult with the international laws the way they are.
However, you may be able to help others:
Report it to the RCMP or FBI
and at least one of the following sites:
internet-love-scams.org
anti-scam.org
At least then others can find the scammer and know
that's what the person is. And by reporting it to the authorities there is
a chance, however slim, that you may see some restitiution.
15 Comments
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